


When the lights go out, you'll understand.

by SpaceCadetGlow



Category: Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, Off-screen Relationship(s), Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 18:43:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4677263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceCadetGlow/pseuds/SpaceCadetGlow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the prompt: "Nelly doesn't love Rolf, but the pain is better than the emptiness."  Script/screenplay format.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When the lights go out, you'll understand.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried writing something in script format after seeing some plays. A line break indicates where someone else would be speaking. Originally written for the Watchmen kinkmeme, which exists in its current iteration here: http://watchmen-km.dreamwidth.org/287.html. If you enjoy this fic, please leave a comment; feedback makes my day!

_[Nelson Gardner's living room. He sits in a large, comfortable chair as he speaks on the telephone to his friend Larry. Nelson bears the anxiousness of a man with an important secret he's itching to tell.]_

GARDNER: I don't want to talk about it. 

_[Quickly]_ No, no, don't hang up. You're right. I called for a reason. _[He settles back into the armchair and begins twirling the telephone cord around his finger, a nervous habit.]_

Of course it's him. It always is, isn't it? You're probably so sick of hearing this nonsense all the time. 

Why don't I just man up and stand up for myself? _[Without any irony]_ Where would that get me?

I don't want to be happy. 

No, that's not what I meant. I do want to be happy. Naturally. But leaving him won't make me any happier. Larry... I figured something out today, something important. _[Chewing on his lip, he can hardly believe what he's about to say.]_ I realized that I don't love him. 

I know, I said I did. I thought I did for the longest time. But it hit me just today, there's not really much to love.

_[Huffy]_ You don't have to be sarcastic about it.

Look, just because I don't love him doesn't mean I don't want to be with him. 

No, I'm not stupid. 

Yes, it is that good. It's certainly worth sticking around for. Who would I be with if not him? I don't know anyone else. 

_[Faintly dreamily]_ You don't understand, Larry, you don't know what it's like. Do you mind if I tell you something... something very personal?

Heh. I guess you're right. Even more personal, then. 

You can tell me to stop whenever you want. _[A half-smile]_ He used to say that. He doesn't anymore, thank God. He just does what he wants until it's enough for him. I think I'm fine with that. And I think he knows it too. He doesn't ask if I'm alright, or if it's too much. The things he does...

He, uh... he hurts me. _[Wincing, he yanks the receiver from his ear for a moment.]_

No, no, listen to me! I want him to. I've asked for it. He knows what I need. The things he does, and the things he says... he's completely in control of me. _[The dreamy, blissful tone returns to his voice as he continues.]_ And, well, it's a little hard to explain to someone else, but after a while it stops hurting, and I feel like I'm not myself anymore. Like I'm outside my body and I don't have a care in the world. Do you know how good that feels?

If you felt it you'd understand. That's why I'm staying. Maybe I don't love him, and maybe he's never shown anybody a shred of human affection, but because of him, every couple of nights I don't have to be me. I can't get that anywhere else.

_[Softly]_ That's awfully sweet of you to say, Larry. You're too kind to me. 

No, there's nothing else. That's all. It's just that you've asked me why I loved him so many times, I thought I'd let you know that I don't. I'm sure I don't. So it's alright. You don't have to worry about me.

Yes, I'll be fine. You've got more than enough to worry about already.

Alright. Thanks for listening.

Yes, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Larry. 

_[He hangs up, and fidgets for a few moments -- fluffs the pillows, flips through a magazine. He's too restless to concentrate on anything, and his fingers wander to a bruise on his jaw. He presses down on it, rubbing hard, closing his eyes, exhaling softly. Finally, he picks up the phone again and dials.]_

Rolf, it's me. 

No, I'm not doing anything either. Can I come over?


End file.
